Most people would say they like themselves, at least if someone else asked them. It’s like being human 101. You’re the only person you get to be, so you might as well make the most of it, right?
But we’d all be lying if we said we didn’t struggle with that inner voice that tells us we’re not good enough. You know the one. The one that tells you that you can’t do that thing, or that person doesn’t really like you, or that outfit doesn’t look as good as you thought.
Like, seriously, we usually say pretty mean stuff to ourselves. It’s crazy! As women, in particular, self love can be really hard. We’re taught to always be competitive with each other, and all that measuring can make us feel like we’re not enough.
That’s the bad news. But the good news is that we can change it. And, really, we have to! If we don’t start practicing self love ourselves, future generations of women will have the same struggles we’ve had. Enough is enough!
Long story short: self love is so important. I know you agree with me here. So I wanted to round up some ways to consciously make an effort to speak more nicely to ourselves, to be less critical, and to gain more self love and confidence. There is totally a way to have body positivity and still push yourself to be better, and we’re going to find it together!
A little something to help…
If self love is something you’re working on, I would def recommend our Self Love Workbook. Basically, it’s a week-long workbook and every day it gives you lots of food for thought to help you love your amazing self. It includes a daily journaling section and daily challenges, a self love checklist, a tracker to help with your self-care, printables, and we even threw some DIY face mask recipes in there so you can treat yourself!
We built the workbook because self love is really important to our LSF team and we’ve spent a lot of time and energy working on it. With the workbook, we’re able to share all the stuff that’s worked for us with you! Because you deserve all of that love, girl!!
My top tips for self love
Beyond the workbook, I want to give you stuff you can start implementing right away. So here are a few things that have worked for me and other women.
Start paying attention to your inner voice
You probably think you already know what your inner voice says. But a lot of times, that soundtrack just runs in our minds without us ever stopping to check it.
Listen to your self-talk. Like, really listen. It might even be helpful to write down some of the things you hear yourself say about yourself.
Because you might be totally surprised. Your inner voice might be way more harsh and critical than you’ve ever noticed. And changing something starts with awareness. So turn up the volume on your thoughts a little bit.
Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to a friend
Now that you’re listening, it’s time to start changing what you’re saying. I have a simple rule that I think works super well: don’t let yourself say anything about yourself that you wouldn’t say out loud about a friend.
It’s simple. If it’s too mean or critical or whatever else to say it about someone you care about, you DEFINITELY shouldn’t be saying it about yourself.
There’s only one person you should compare yourself to: you.
Each of us goes through our own experiences. We have our own challenges and strengths. So when we try to measure up to someone else’s standard — or, really, what we perceive those standards to be — we miss the mark.
If you want to compare yourself to someone, let it be the old you. Keep improving and growing, girl! If you can look back and see the progress you’ve made on your goals, it’s a whole lot easier to practice self love. And if you don’t see any progress yet, this next tip is for you.
Give yourself some grace, girl!
Say it with me: We. All. Make. Mistakes.
Like, you know that’s true. You know it. So why are you so darn hard on yourself when you mess up?
It’s time to change the way we treat ourselves. Missing a workout or not doing your best on a project is NOT cause for a shame spiral! It’s an opportunity to grow from that place. If you screwed up, move on. Tomorrow’s a new day. Heck, the next minute is a new minute. Let the past go so you can have your best present.
Get support from your friends
If you’re really struggling with self love, it’s time to call in some reinforcements.
It can be awkward to ask people to tell you what they like about you. So I’d encourage something where everybody wins. Start a text thread with a few friends where you send each other affirmations throughout the day. Or do a wine night where everyone gives each other one compliment. Or ask your mom, aunt, grandma, etc. what they think your strengths are.
Seeing yourself through other peoples’ eyes can help you realize how awesome you are. Because I have to say, I am absolutely blown away by the amazing women in our LSF community. You are all so caring, hard-working, and thoughtful! I’m truly grateful to know you all and I hope you can learn to love yourselves because you truly, truly deserve it!!
I feel like reading this was aGod wink like he’s trying to tell me that yes you are beautiful! I took pictures of myself recently in just my panties n bra for I’m doing a work out plan and I wanted to see in visual a before and after and here I thought, I was thinking that I didn’t look that bad in my own skin until I saw with all its glory (not) me! lol I started just seeing my self and saw nothing but flaws in body,when I should be saying you have came so far and look… Read more »
Hi Jennifer! I’m so glad this blog came at the right time for you! You said it best, it’s so important to acknowledge how far you’ve come and celebrate those little wins. xo
Hi Jennifer! Thank you for sharing these beautiful words with me. You are beautiful as you are right now. I can’t wait to see you continue on your journey!
Nice blog . Loved it!