5 Tips for Finding Love
Finding love can be one of the hardest things to do; especially if you are REALLY wanting it. Before I met Ryan I was kinda a hot mess. If you’ve watched my story on YouTube you know, even more than just weight, I struggled big time with self-confidence. It took some time and a TON of self pep-talks, but I finally realized that my lack of self-love and confidence was absolutely holding me back from finding a partner to love. It sounds cliche, but you can’t expect someone else to love all of you if you can’t fully love yourself.
So, here are my top 5 tips for finding love in yourself so you can love and be loved by someone else!
Stop comparing yourself.
Everyone has their own uniquely beautiful journey. Stop comparing your chapter 1 to someone else chapter 1, 10, or 20. You will never have the same story so stop trying to.
Love yourself just as you are…
Don’t for a second think that when you reach a certain weight or get a certain job you will finally be happy. You need to recognize your strengths and weakness and love all of them, right now, just as you are.
Know that your confidence comes from INSIDE not outside.
In case you haven’t gotten this one yet, your body does not define who you are! I met Ryan at my heaviest. Just a few months before meeting him I was the most insecure I had ever been. There isn’t a magic switch you can flip, but you can spend time building yourself back up and realizing that you are an incredible, strong, beautiful woman who deserves the world. Be confident in knowing you have a ton to offer. If you believe that, you will shine from the inside out!
With yourself, and them, about what you want and NEED in a partner. There is no use faking it and you shouldn’t have to change your passions or priorities in order to “make it work.” If they are your person they will love all of you and you will give each other what you need.
Stop comparing them! They aren’t your ex so leave the past behind you.
I had a really hard break-up a few years before I met Ryan. I gave this person everything I could and was cheated on, lied to, and completely devastated when he dumped me. (low self esteem much?) It was really challenging to let that all go. TBH, those scares are still with me. Ryan is the most loyal, loving man I’ve ever met, but there have been times past insecurities pop-up and I can’t help but have those emotions come flooding back in. It’s not fair to either one of us to let someone who was so terrible 12 years ago impact our amazing relationship now.
I’ve worked really hard to be aware of what triggers those feelings and from day 1 I have been super open and honest with Ryan about when they sneak up so we can work through it together. Long story shorter, your new man is not your ex, so stop comparing them and leave the past in the past.